My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My dick has a subreddit
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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