where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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