my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
did you just send me my own nude
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
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