I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize