remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
