I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
