I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
