I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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