I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
