I need help removing her.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
