My nipple is on Facebook.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Text me some of your sweat
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
