Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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