I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
