she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
