Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
