i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
