In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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