Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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