"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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