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• (248): View more from Michigan

  You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.

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• (432): View more from Texas

  So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant

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• (394): View more from

  Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I resent the implication of a jizz addiction

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