bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
