The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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