the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
