Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
