Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
