We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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