Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Randomize
