hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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