Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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