i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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