I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
