He is an equal opportunity slut.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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