i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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