You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
