I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
jump out the window naked night went bad
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
