remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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