no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
