don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
