Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
