just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
