she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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