Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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