Dual....:-)
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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