He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
sarcasm needs its own font
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
