She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
