my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
