So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
