Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
