I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
