you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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