i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
