Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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