woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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