Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
