Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
